» April 29, 2010 / -10:19 PM

I felt that this world has set this conspiracy to me. after I fulfilled my promise (not really just one more thing), somehow God helps me revealing the facts from the most unexpected persons. We never been really close yet one day one of them contacted me just to ask what happen to me after the February incident.

it's a shame to admit that the last tear I shed happened 2 weeks ago. for the same thing over and over again. I felt so weak and the last thing she said to me was "you will have someone that you can live with and I know he will be the best for you..."

this conspiracy, I believe, to make me stronger. I know that I can put the past into a box and keep it for the rest of my life. but the only thing important to me now is to find someone that I can share with and to be able to fully experience life together. still a long way to go, but I will never stop hoping.


even though hoping sometime means being selfish...

» April 19, 2010 / -10:10 PM